Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
