It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
is it fun? or sober?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
