Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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