After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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