I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
