I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
