Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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