note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
