I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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