I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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