Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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