We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
