I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
