This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
