I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
