it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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