NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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