He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
only if we run a train.
done.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
