doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
