Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
