and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
