Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
