Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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