Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
