Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
