i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
