please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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