i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
