dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You were trust falling into bushes
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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