two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
