What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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