Don't you send me to vm
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
