normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
