Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
