Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
