Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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