I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think my vagina is haunted
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
