She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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