Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
