I wish you could order shots online.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
