Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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