he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
