She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
