I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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