dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
