Whod you bang
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
