As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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