they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
