Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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