ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Let's get the cat blown out
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
