in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
